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Credo Quia Absurdum Est
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The Inquisition Song by Mel Brooks.

Cast

In order of appearance

Joe Santiago -

Performed by Mel Brooks.

Torture Chorus -

Boot Licker Singers

The Resisters -

Irrelevant Commanders Septet

<BGSOUND src="/v1i2/sound/inq_long.wav>
(Press Play and read/sing along)

Santiago: The Inquisition...
Boot Lickers: What a show
Santiago: The Inquisition
Boot Lickers: Here we go
Santiago: We know you're wishin' that we'd go away
But the Inqisition's here and it's here to-
Boot Lickers: Hey Santiago what do you say?
Santiago: I just got back from the Auto-da-fe
Boot Lickers: Auto-da-fe? What's an Auto-da-fe?
Santiago: It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway
Santiago: Will you convert?
Irrelevant Septet: No, no, no, no.
Santiago: Will you confess?
Irrelevant Septet: No, no, no, no.
Santiago: Will you revert?
Irrelevant Septet: No, no, no, no.
Santiago: Will you say yes?
Irrelevant Septet: No, no, no, no.
Santiago: Now I asked in a nice way, I said 'Pretty Please'
I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees.