K9News-Revival
 Credo Quia Absurdum Est
K9News-Revival NEWS, SATIRE AND COMMENTARY WITH A BITE
  Front Page | Page [2] [3] [4] [5]
Archive | Manifesto |    Print Version 

Is It Goodbye Santiago?

Port Moresby (AP) - The island nation of Papua New Guinea has narrowed their search for the new Enga Province Minister of Police. According to the countrys web site the list of candidates has been narrowed to three, and Police Director Joe Santiago tops the list.
Located in the South Pacific, Papua New Guinea is a country with 715 separate languages, where English is spoken by less than 2% of the population. The clans located in the most remote sections of the island, whose cultures have not changed in hundreds of years, are often the subjects of documentaries.
The K9News traveled to the mountainous Enga province to get the reaction of villagers. To our surprise, even the people in the most remote areas knew of Santiago. The response to the question How do you feel about Joe Santiago coming to Enga? was unanimous.
Full Story » [page 2]

New Website Examines Santiago's Efficiency.
 Trenton residents have another source for information about their police department. A new website, armed with data obtained through the Open Public Records Act (OPRA), is already causing a stir among the city brass.
Full Story » [page 4]

OPINION

   Opinion & Editorial
   Christmas Gift Advertiser

LEXICON
  • Pravda - (Proper Noun)
    • : Russian news agency. A State-run news agency in communist Russia.
  • Arrogant - (Adjective)
    • : exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance in an overbearing manner
  • Spendthrift - (Noun)
    • : One who spends money extravagantly or wastefully.
    FEATURE

    Mayor Announces: City LAGS Addressing Gangs

    TRENTON (AP) - City police recently announced a new strategy in their appeasement approach to law enforcement. In an effort to allay public fears about the emerging presence of street-gangs, before they become an entrenched problem, city police have taken to the air. The Low Altitude Gang Strategy (LAGS) is the citys latest initiative in the fight against gangs.
    According to department insiders, officers working in the Trenton LAGS program will aggressively patrol the gang areas from an altitude of about 500 feet. We are prepared to drop down to 300 feet in the unlikely event that the 500 foot height is ineffective, said one Trenton LAGS officer.
    Full Story » [page 2]

    Did Santiago fail to advise Mayor and Council about petition drive?

    Ask any officer about Director Santiagos biggest pet peeve and chances are that you will hear about how Santiago mandates that he always be made aware of serious and/or politically sensitive issues. Such a policy is likely in place in most police departments, regardless of size. However, Director Santiago has been accused in the past of over reacting to some instances where subordinates didnt advise him of certain incidents. In his own heavy-handed way, Santiago has made it abundantly clear that he wants, no demands, to be notified on issues of importance. Full Story » [page 3]

    City Finishes Construction of Newest Abandoned Building

    TRENTON Homeless people in Trenton are preparing to move into the citys first publicly subsidized abandoned building. Construction of the building at the corner of Broad and Front streets ended many weeks ago and its tenants are planning to move in soon. The building, which has become an eyesore for downtown business owners and an embarrassment for Mayor Palmer, may soon be housing over 300 of the citys homeless.
    Full Story » [page 4]

    IN THE NEWS

    Santiago May Sue Movie     Studios

    A high-ranking city employee revealed today that embattled Police Director Joe Santiago is strongly considering bringing a lawsuit as a means of seeking compensation for violations of conceptual and intellectual property rights. According to sources, Santiago is planning to sue Paramount pictures and their parent company Viacom, for producing a movie based on ideas and concepts formulated by Santiago.
    Director Santiago was the originator of this concept and therefore expects to be fully compensated, said one police official.
    Full Story » [page 3]


    Mayor to announce another 23% change.
    » [page 2]

    Santiago offers an outline for victims of violent crime. » [page 2]

    Could Pro-Active Be Returning Soon?
    » [page 4]

    Colorful Joe Colors Subordinate Blue
    » [page 4]

    Have that Empty NEST Syndrome?
    » [page 5]

    Punishment NEST
    » [page 5]

    Tomorrow's Winning Lottery Numbers
    » [page 6]